Thursday, July 12, 2012

What A Beautiful Day

Several years ago, my dad and I were driving through Shepherd on a dark, dreary day. There was a funeral in progress, I turned to my dad and said "Crappy day for a funeral." Without missing a beat he said...."well not too sure there is ever a good day for a funeral." Point taken :)....

Yet, on Sunday, July 8th it was a beautiful day....a tealish, blue sky was filled with white comfy clouds...the sun was bright but at times hidden and a slight breeze made the summer heat warm but bearable. It was the best day I would ever hope for to celebrate my amazing Aunt Casee...the day she passed away.

I said in my last post, that on Sundays the entire family would come over and have dinner at Grandpa and Grandma's...it was just what we did. My grandparents would get up early and fix amazing food....and if you didn't eat Grandpa would ask you if you were sick because there was just something wrong about not eating two helpings of his homemade noodles, baked beans and freezer corn. And thankfully, we weren't to the point of running the roads to practices or games, because our bellies were so full we wouldn't have been very productive. Sunday's were days to just be with each other, reconnect and focus for the week ahead.

How fitting for our family - a Sunday - of all days....a Sunday where the entire family was at Grandpa and Grandmas with no place to run off to, but to just be with each other, reconnect and focus for the week ahead. This Sunday though, not much was said, not much needed to be....

And as we watched the food start filling the refrigerator and counter area, our family started to see how many other people also share their love through food. :) ... At one point, my Uncle Tim and I laughed because we were asked about five or six times if we had ate anything for lunch - at about the eighth time, I looked at him and told him - "please just eat a damn sandwich" :)...but so many took time out of their busy lives to pick up food, water, paper products, munchies and then did it again for the funeral dinner...

And on Wednesday, July 11th it was a beautiful day....a tealish, blue sky was filled with white comfy clouds...the sun was bright but at times hidden and a slight breeze made the summer heat warm but bearable. It was the best day I would ever hope for to celebrate my amazing Aunt Casee...the day we said our final good byes.

A week ago, I wrote a blog after we found out she had two weeks to a month to live....it was a blog from my heart, a blog many would read....one I would read at her funeral, one I'll carry with me to read over and over again....I honestly don't know if Casee ever read it or had it read to her - I couldn't do it myself, but I know she knows how I feel about her.

And now I know how so many others feel about her. I still haven't been able to make it through all her friends' Facebook posts on her wall because I just start crying. Listening to the stories bounce off the walls at the funeral home and while sorting photos for her slide show - oh so much laughter, so many memories to write down and have forever.

Yet, I feel like the funeral was the easy part - we were able to laugh and cry and be together with so many for four days straight...but what about now? When we go back to work, head to the grocery store, sit at a baseball game, celebrate her birthday this Sunday, the list goes on....I feel like there are a lot of dark and dreary days ahead....

But then my five year old Gunner gives me a fresh perspective...After trying to figure out how to tell him what was happening, I told him the truth, that Aunt Casee had died and she was going to meet God....his eyes got so big and he had a huge smile come across his face. Without missing a beat he said "That is so cool Mom."....... It took all I had at that moment to hold back tears and just give him a big hug while saying... "Yeah, buddy it is."  Point taken.


I'm going to miss you so much - Sending you my love.
A balloon send off on a beautiful day.

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